Did you know that statistically relationships are now only lasting a maximum of 4 years?
This means the era of long term relationships our parents experienced is over. And if this is true, I believe the questions at top of mind are, why are relationships so short term these days and do we have the power to change this statistic?
The first answer is…disconnected heart cords.
The second answer is YES!
Our awareness has expanded. We no longer tolerate what our mothers or fathers endured and we know now that staying together for the sake of the children was not always the best idea.
Couples today only stay together when there is a willingness to learn from each other. If we are unwilling to openly learn about ourselves, upgrade and updates our attitudes and behaviors and live with an open heart, the relationship unfortunately will experience more hardship than necessary.
The old ways of just co-existing and pretending everything is fine is no longer acceptable. Life is too short as it is and the only commitment we are being asked to make is the one that opens our hearts to the truth of who we are.
If you want help in creating healthy, lasting and mutually rewarding relationships, I recommend you read the following seven keys to strengthening your heart cords.
Now you may be wondering what heart cords are? When two people are in relationship heart cords are what keep attraction and connection alive. Heart cords just like air, are invisible to the physical eye. They are made of light energy and connect each soul at the heart. We have heart cords that connect us to our parents, siblings, our children, our friends and to our spouse/partner. There are many light cords that carry energy between each heart. When you speak against the soul that is connected to your heart energy, a cord is cut. If many of your heart cords are severed and not healed, then over time the relationship will naturally disconnect in the physical realm. So if you want your relationships to be healthy and fulfilling it would be wise to learn about how to strengthened your heart cords.
Remember.. our reality is based on experiencing two main energy vibrations which are at opposite ends of the spectrum ~ Fear or Love.. The energy of love is expressed through an open heart and embodies happiness, gratitude, truth, trust, compassion, etc. Love is the only power that can reconnect and strengthens heart cords. Fear on the other hand is expressed through a closed heart and shows up as anger, avoidance, depression, blame, jealousy, hate, resentment etc. Fear of course, is what cuts heart cords and is the cause of most separations.
Below are what I call the 7 Keys to Keeping Your Heart Cords Connected. For now let’s apply the following guidelines to intimate relationships, however; they apply to any and all relationships.
1. Praise Your Beloved in Front of Others. Next time you are out with friends and family and your beloved give her/him praise so everyone knows what a wonderful person they are. The habit of thinking and speaking positive about your spouse/partner must be developed in order to strengthen the love bond between you both.Talking in a negative way to your friends and especially to your family about your beloved cuts heart cords. Besides your family and friends will energetically hang on to what was said long after you have forgiven each other and moved through any disagreements. Discuss problems only with those who you can trust and can see both sides. If you need to talk seek professional help and hire a relationship coach or counselor.
2. Get Real With Your Emotions. If you scream or yell or project negative emotions onto your partner you are cutting many heart cords. People who have not been taught how to handle their emotions will create an emotional transfer in an attempt to dump the toxic energy onto their spouse/partner. Instead, if you need to vent go to your bedroom, close the door, kneel down and punch the heck out of your bed and yell and scream into the pillow. Get it all out before you stand and face your beloved. Focus your self talk on I AM statements such as, I am feeling angry because I am afraid I am being taking for granted or I am feeling sad because I am afraid that our disconnection will not be healed or I am feeling frustrated because I have a fear that you do not listen to what I have to say. The only one responsible for your emotions is you and if you want to shift your present relationship into something positive, take responsibility, learn how to handle your emotions and heal broken heart cords of the past.
3. Let Go of the Need to Create Drama. Emotional drama is created because someone is seeking attention. They have too many heart cords cut from previous relationships and feel deeply wounded inside. They feel the only way someone will love them is to manipulate or persuade in order to get their way. Even though we may think we are fooling our partner/spouse, manipulation and deception does not fool the soul. When a soul feels manipulated many heart cords become unhooked at the root. Drama is also created because of a spouse/partner is bored with the stagnation and will do anything to recharge the relationship with energy, unfortunately that energy is always a negative force. Follow through with the advice given above (#2) above. It is up to you to heal the broken heart cords of your past. It is not your spouses/partners responsibility.
4. Create Heart to Heart Conversations. If you are afraid of each other your relationship will not last and all cords will be cut. Fear shows up as avoidance, pretending to be busy at work, lack of eye contact, lack of intimacy and ultimately lack of communication. You can face your fear and take time to create heart to heart conversations with your spouse/partner every day for at least 10 minutes. Heart to heart conversations are powerfully transformative when you both face each other and make eye contact while expressing truth. You are sharing your internal experiences only and not what you want your partner to change. Express what you need, what you want and what your heart desires. Remember, your beloved wants you to be happy, however; he/she may not be able to meet all your needs, wants and desires and visa versa. This exercise is about you expressing your truth of how you feel and what actions you’re ready to take to make a change. Your heart cords reconnect and strengthen when you both feel acknowledged. Acknowledge each others needs, wants and desires with a “Thank you for sharing your truth”. At the end of every conversation ask each other the question, “What do you need from me that you feel I have not given you?” Focus on what you can do to help uplift and fulfill each others spirit for a better life.
5. Release Your Fear of Truth. Pretending everything is OK or lying to yourself or to your beloved is one of the surest ways to cut heart cords. It is only the lies we tell ourselves that create drama and emotional pain. The barrier most people face in expressing their truth is that they don’t want to hurt others or cause trouble or they will feel shame for admitting a lie. The trick to admitting truth is to reveal your inner experience instead of blaming someone for your experience. To reveal your inner experience is to communicate what you feel inside such as, “I am feeling unhappy because I keep putting your needs first before mine.” or “I am feeling angry a lot with you because I feel disconnected and lonely.” Now just breathe deeply without expectations. Facing the truth of how you feel and not blaming your beloved is a huge step in reconnecting heart cords. What is important here is you getting real with yourself and knowing that your partner is never to blame for your unhappiness. It is your avoidance of your true feelings that creates unhappiness.
6. Use Gratitude and Appreciation to End Conflict. Do you want to learn the number one way to end any argument? Arguments are created because your beloved senses her/his heart cords disconnecting and has no idea how to reconnect. The energy of gratitude and appreciation has the power to take broken heart cords and reconnect them. Gratitude and appreciation is shown in the form of sincere compliments and praise. For example, show gratitude and appreciation after every conversation. You can say, “Thank you! I know this was not easy for you to express your truth. I am really proud of you.” You are showing me the importance of truth and how easy it can be to express. I appreciate your efforts in showing me how to open my heart” or “”Who you are is remarkable. I get caught up in focusing only on your behaviour that I want you to change because it doesn’t serve you or us anymore. I am now learning to focus on the behaviours and attitudes I need to change instead of focusing on you.” Sincere compliments after any disagreement or discussion reinforce the positive power in having such issues aired. This shows you care about listening to what is important to your beloved. Now the conversation shifts into understanding which breathes new heart energies of laughter, connection and peace of mind into your relational experience. Heart cords love hugs.
7. Create a Compelling Future. We are attracted to those who have a vision. A vision that empowers our life and the world. Heart cords begin dissolving if you are either focusing on a resentful past or projecting out a bleak future together. If you have made a conscious choice to work things through and have a willingness to learn from each other then to recharge your heart cords you need to have a common vision and a focus on a compelling future. Your future is created through heart projections and this is why it is important to know what your heart desires. A few questions you can yourself are, Who do I want to become? What legacy do we as a couple want to leave behind? How can we contribute to the greater good? What do we both want to experience 6 months from now, 1 year from now or 4 years from now? When you both come into alignment and see exciting future possibilities you are energetically popping yourself into a more fulfilling life and your heart cords become more vibrant and healthy.
Remember, the one thing people want most is to feel connected. If someone is upset with you it is because they unconsciously feel disconnected to you. Use the above information as an opportunity to create transformation in any relationship. You now have the power and knowledge to reestablish connection by strengthening heart cords. If we each take responsibility in uplifting a spirit instead of squashing someone’s spirit we will create a beautiful life for all.