After my 6 years of doctoral classes and research in Communication Studies and 13 years teaching communication, I’ve boiled it down to these 101 essentials. So you can get it, without the PhD!
- Communication is the key to success.
-
Everything about you communicates….something.
-
You cannot not communicate.
-
The medium is the message. (Marshall McLuhan)
-
Words are only 7% of the message.
-
Your communication co-creates your reality.
-
Communication is the transfer of emotion. (Seth Godin)
-
People appreciate your being clear.
-
What you really gain through good communication is authentic connection with people.
-
You impact the energy of a room by simply entering it.
-
You have way more influence than what you think.
-
Communication is irreversible.
-
Misinterpretation of email can end your marriage. (That’s because people get upset because they see something that’s really not there.)
-
It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.
-
What you’re feeling is your invisible message.
-
Listening to yourself is essential to being authentic.
-
To connect with others, you have to establish trust.
-
You establish trust by being authentic and open. Know your preferences.
-
There are two levels to every message: content and relationship.
-
Everything you communicate is either building personal relationships, or doing the opposite.
-
Human motives are complex.
-
Male communication focuses on results.
-
Female communication focuses on relationships.
-
You have a choice in how you interpret others’ messages.
-
You can always choose an interpretation that best suits you.
-
Being authentic is not being selfish.
-
The optimum size for a work team to enjoy good communication is 5 to 7 people.
-
Always start an email with a greeting.
-
Keep in mind that employers and customers may check out your FB profile.
-
When possible, talk to people instead of emailing them.
-
Forgiving others frees you. That affects the energy you communicate.
-
Respond, don’t react to situations. That’s how you create outcomes.
-
If you react by accident, go to the bathroom and pull yourself together.
-
Active listening brings you to the present moment.
-
The first step in preparing a presentation is deciding your purpose.
-
Persuasion only takes place in a context of trust.
-
Writing things down in a journal frees your mind to think new thoughts.
-
If a speaker refers to a famous person, the speaker is (probably) trying to borrow credibility from that person.
-
Executives spend more time talking than listening…according to the research.
-
Executives say they spend more time listening than talking.
-
The average American worker receives 200 emails a day.
-
The best day to release bad news to the press is Saturday.
-
The best day to report good news to the press is Monday.
-
A sound-bite lasts 9 to 14 seconds.
-
People make lasting judgments about you within 30 seconds of meeting you.
-
Send hand-written thank-you notes, not emailed ones.
-
Avoid bullet points in your Power Point presentations.
-
Use photos instead of so much text in your Power Point presentations.
-
The first electronic communication medium was the telegraph.
-
Make sure your handshake is firm, not too limp, not too strong.
-
No perfume on a job interview.
-
Learn to disagree without being disagreeable.
-
Saying affirmations (the truth in advance) can shorten the time you spend feeling down.
-
When you have a spare minute, work on and practice your 30-second elevator pitch.
-
News programming is a form of entertainment.
-
News programming is bad for your health.
-
What’s bad about the news is not the news, it’s what you tell yourself about the news.
-
Complaining brings you more stuff to complain about.
-
Expressing gratitude brings you more stuff about which to be grateful.
-
A thankful heart is a happy heart. (Veggie Tales)
-
There’s no such thing as a neutral message.
-
Your standpoint shapes your viewpoint.
-
In reaching your goals, you only have to know the first step to take right now.
-
Use spell check.
-
More vocabulary is more power, so use a thesaurus, too.
-
You can never please everyone.
-
Groups that identify themselves as being against something, rather than for something, do not have a bright future.
-
Creativity is really the only non-renewable economic resource we have. (Richard Florida)
-
To make your message persuasive, you must appeal to human rationality and emotions.
-
The strongest human motivator is fear of loss.
-
You can gain all kinds of benefits from listening, really listening to people.
-
If you think you can, you can, if you think you can’t, you’re right about that too. (That was Henry Ford’s expression.)
-
A good meeting is always preceded by the distribution of a clear agenda.
-
Stress exists only in your mind.
-
There are no justified resentments. (Wayne Dyer, PhD)
-
People have the attention span of goldfish.
-
Creative people should always try to do things they can’t do. That’s when creativity is needed. (Marcel Wanders)
-
Fear blocks good communication.
-
Fear is created by fantasizing about future experiences. (Jack Canfield)
-
People can hear faster than you can speak.
-
You cannot listen to a person and text at the same time.
-
Truth is good for you. (ODE magazine)
-
Use a lot of white space in your emails.
-
Make sure you have complete and correct contact info in your email signature.
-
Don’t put your hands in your pockets when you make a presentation. Especially if you have keys in your pocket!
-
Leaders who lead by placing blame do a great disservice to their followers.
-
Sometimes people ask questions that have hidden agendas embedded in them.
-
Someone saying that there’s a problem doesn’t make it true.
-
What you believe about yourself defines who you are; that’s what you communicate.
-
What you confidently expect to happen (good or bad) generally becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
-
Refusing to discuss a problem is the most destructive communication block.
-
Blame and criticism also block communication.
-
Remembering a person’s name immediately establishes you as someone who listens, i.e. someone who cares.
-
Learning names takes practices, just like everything else.
-
You teach people how to treat you.
-
What we know about really effective people is that they think. (Jim Collins)
-
Human beings love symbols.
-
Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy. (Isaac Newton)
-
Ultimately, people seek communion in their communication.
-
There’s usually some bit of truth in all criticism.
101. Complaining, criticizing, gossiping, and whining deaden your communicative ability. Refuse to participate in these activities!