Dating someone who lives a long way away has its own set of complications and challenges, not least being the limited amount of physical intimacy. For some people, long-distance dating is a positive as it allows them so much freedom within their own lives. Also, for people who grew up in a family where one or other parent was often away, long-distance dating can be fairly easy and attractive because of the familiarity of the context.
Nevertheless, dating someone long-distance can be difficult and many long-distance relationships simply fizzle out over time. Many people associate dating and intimate relationships with touch and physical love – the precious aspects that are so limited in a long-distance situation. The basis of any relationship is trust and this is also the key to maintaining a long-distance dating scenario. If you are paranoid that your partner is having other relationships or is losing interest in you, you are liable to become miserable and needy; both of which emotions can have a negative effect on your relationship.
Although modern technology has made it increasingly unproblematic to date over long distances, the absence of the in-person element of the relationship can be difficult to cope with. Most people dating someone overseas need to make a big commitment to seeing one another as often as possible. It is also important to make sure both parties make an equal effort, if your date always travels to you, he or she may begin to feel the emotional attachment is greater for them than it is for you.
Many couples in long-distance relationships try to speak on the phone daily but this regime can often be restrictive, or even damaging. When the phone calls become obligatory rather than pleasurable, the relationship is bound to suffer. Interrogatory attitudes are also the cause of many break-ups and it is essential that people dating over long distances maintain good communication methods in order to offer comfort and security despite the physical absence.
By being imaginative in how you communicate and surprising your partner with little gifts or notes, you can help your relationship remain on an even keel. Sending films and watching them at the same time or sharing musical passion are also good ways of keeping your dating experience light-hearted while maintaining a feeling of closeness. Good communication is the basis of any successful relationship and none more so than in a long-distance dating scenario. Be honest with your partner about both the positives and negatives of your situation but try not to become resentful or fall into the trap of allocating blame.
If the communication between you and your partner becomes infrequent or particularly one-sided it is best to deal with this and discuss it with your partner. If the relationship is not making you happy, you need to be honest with your partner about that; it is not fair to keep your partner hanging until the next time you see each other face-to-face. If the long-distance relationship is not working, you need to be willing to face the truth and let go.