I’ve spent years studying French women, as well as other naturally slim people, and there is a method to their “slimness,” but it’s probably not what you think. It does not include a child and deprivation. It is an attitude, a personal style, a way of looking at the world, and it starts from within.
While diet programs and other approaches keep you focused on your “weight problem,” the French approach to lean living is probably counter-intuitive to what you’ve been taught.
From the countryside of Provence to the bistros of Paris, I have paid close attention to the attitudes and behaviors of slim, chic and smart women. Their approach to food, weight, and life is vastly different from the “no pain, no gain” mindset of American culture. Instead, their mindset is based on pleasure and personal style, both of which are amazing weight loss tools.
I realized a long time ago that if I wanted to be a slim, chic and smart woman, I had to turn away from the diet industry and turn to a culture that lived a slim lifestyle long before our country existed. What I’ve discovered is that there are certain things I never hear slim, chic, smart women say. In today’s article, I want to share a few with you so that you can begin to identify some of the obstacles that may be preventing you from having the body and life of your dreams.
“I’m on a diet.”
Children do not act. Period. If they did, there wouldn’t be a billion dollar+ industry that continues to flourish despite a massive failure rate. What on Earth? What other industry succeeds with a failure rate of over ninety-five percent? Slim, chic and smart women know that it’s not about dieting again, it’s about the attitude and mindset that keeps them slim.
Child = misery. Who wants that? Definitely not a woman who appreciates pleasure, personal style and joy of life.
So what does he do when he wants to lose a few kilos? Well, she has her own secret strategies and techniques that guide her body back to her ideal weight without much drama.
“I just read a great article about emotional eating.”
You’ll find a slim, chic, and smart woman reading a great article in Vogue, Bon Appetit, or maybe The New Yorker, but you won’t find her wasting her time reading about how she has some big problem she needs to solve.
Every time you read a diet book or an article about overcoming emotional eating, you are reinforcing your belief that you have a problem.
Here’s the problem: focusing on the problem. What you focus on grows, so learning how to shift your attention to what you want is magical and very lean. When you start following pleasure, you’ll put down the diet books and pick up that thing you’ve wanted to read for years, or take that class you’ve been putting off until you lose weight.
Now you will start living your life as you would then, reading things that inspire you, not convince you that you are broken, because you are not!
The result: weight loss.
I’ll be honest. I don’t know a single person who doesn’t think they’re bad from time to time. I certainly want to. However, the slim, chic and smart woman doesn’t drown in her self-deprecating thoughts and certainly doesn’t say it out loud. She doesn’t feed it by focusing on it, finding evidence for it, and living her life from a “miserable” place.
Instead, he realizes that she is not what he thinks, that he has an amazing life to create, and immediately turns his attention to more beautiful and inspiring things. Sure, she does stupid things like anyone else, and yes, she probably has cellulite or other bumps, lumps, and oddities, but she sees that as a natural part of being a woman, not as proof that she’s not worth it.
She embraces her strengths and weaknesses, and that alone makes her irresistible to those who have the honor of being in her presence.
“I lost control.”
Even if she’s waist-deep in the fridge, a slim, chic and smart woman will never say she’s lost control, because she understands that every action she takes is entirely her doing. You can’t experience control if you’re constantly walking around thinking you’re out of control. So if this is your belief, I challenge you to start saying before every action you take, “I choose to do this.”
By repeating this to yourself, you will begin to control your mind, and a woman who is MASTER of her mind is unstoppable.
“I tend to ______.”
She’ll tell you what she cooked last night, where she was on vacation, and the designer of the dress, but she won’t discuss weight with you. While many women will obsess, talk and share their weight with the world, a slim, chic and smart woman does not dare to take her personal business to the street. Furthermore, it does not focus on the scale. You won’t find her sitting in a weekly weigh-in meeting. Au contraire! Instead of focusing on the scale, she notices how her clothes fit, how she feels in her own body, and how much joy it produces, rather than a number on a piece of metal.
If her clothes are tight, she simply reevaluates her current lifestyle and choices and makes the necessary adjustments to get back to her ideal weight.
Without children. No drama. Just tweaks and tweaks.
(In the Slim, Chic and Savvy program, by the way, we do something weekly, but it’s NOT weighing. It’s much more powerful and definitely more enjoyable, and this tool itself has been accused of causing weight loss.)
When she is hungry, a slim, chic and smart woman eats. She programmed her body to expect meals at specific times, usually breakfast, lunch and dinner, with the occasional afternoon snack. As a result, her body’s metabolism works like a machine, not storing, but releasing fat. He is not afraid of mild hunger either. In fact, she experiences it several times a day right before a meal, which she believes adds a special sauce of pleasure to her next dining experience. You won’t find her skipping meals because she’s trying to lose weight. If she chooses not to eat at mealtime, it’s because she’s not hungry, not because she’s white from weight loss.
She honors her body by listening to it and is slim as a result. There is a big lesson here that any woman who wants to lose weight should learn.
- I’m prepared.
Just like she doesn’t starve herself, a slim, chic and smart woman rarely overeats and almost never stuffs herself. If he occasionally overeats (we are all human), he immediately compensates by reducing the following meals.
She believes that life is best lived in the middle, where you eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re elegantly satisfied. Without children. No drama. Just tweaks and tweaks.
“I don’t have time to take care of myself.”
This is a lie and a slim, chic and smart woman knows it. You make time for what’s important to you, and if you don’t take care of yourself, it’s because you don’t see yourself as a priority.
Every French woman I’ve met understands the importance of self-care. It makes her a better mother, wife, lover, friend and wife. From cooking to taking care of her skin, she understands that a quality life requires time and space for your own nutrition. She will say no in a minute to something that doesn’t excite her if it means a little more time to relax, breathe and enjoy her own life.
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Have you noticed what naturally slim people say or don’t say? Share it.